I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
