is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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