Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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