Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
so much tequila, so little girl.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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