Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
