Only a mothe r could love this liver
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
