you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
