winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
