i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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