the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
