I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
