You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
