possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
