omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
