oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
