She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
