he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
