We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
