Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
