I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
