For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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