Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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