So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
