I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
