at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
