She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize