Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
