also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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