after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
