he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
