please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I didn't notice because vodka
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
