Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
