yo everyone went to the hospital last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize