Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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