look no pants
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
