Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
