sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
