yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
