I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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