seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize