I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
