Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
