I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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