umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
