It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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