he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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