you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm at about main and main street
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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