Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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