I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
