And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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