You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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