It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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