Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
