Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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