Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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