if you like me you must not know who I am
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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