This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
