id be glad to
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize