I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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