Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
