please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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